


Super Monkey Lizards Gone Wild

by Missy



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Monsters, Science Experiments, Subverted Tropes, Zombies, animal experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny must keep Sheldon safe when an extra curricular experiment of his gets out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Super Monkey Lizards Gone Wild

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raven (singlecrow)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singlecrow/gifts).



> Written as a Treat for Trick or Treat '14.

Two knocks. 

She raised an eyebrow and stared at the door.

Two knocks, followed by a bloodcurdling scream that may or may not have been her name when warbled by a panicked scientist. 

She cautiously pressed her eye to her peephole and saw Sheldon’s features distorted by the spyglass. For just a second she contemplated leaving him alone outside, then shrugged and let him in.

Sheldon threw himself toward the safety she offered and flew into the room and shouted at her to lock the door, which she did, then flung himself onto her couch.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” She so rarely called him sweetie that the sound of the word snapped him out of his burgeoning panic attack. 

“Nothing,” he said. “I just felt like taking a constitutional.” 

She mentally translated constitutional to a run, because he was sweating through his t shirt. “Really? I thought you hated exercise.”

“Penny, it’s not exercise unless you’re out of breath.” In the distance a percussive boom sounded and he yelped and jumped to his feet.

“Sheldon, what did you do?” she wondered. “You’re sweaty, your eyes keep bouncing around in your head – you DID something, Sheldon, what?” 

“I swear to you, Penny, I haven’t done anything that any other man of science, being made of reason, logic, and intelligence, would do.”

“But you were screaming!”

“I wasn’t screaming. I was stretching my vocal chords,” he insisted.

But Penny knew just what to say to get Sheldon to spill the truth. “If you don’t tell me,” she said, “I’ll have Leonard erase every last episode of Doctor Who you’ve got saved on the DVR.”

It was a bold gambit. He gasped his outrage. “I don’t think you have the temerity.”

“Try me.”

He frowned. He hanged his head low. And he squeezed. “I’ve been experimenting with monkey cadavers in Amy’s lab after hours and my reanimated monkey son turned against me.”

“Oh….WHAT?!”

 

“How was I supposed to know he’d turn against me? One minute we were playing got your nose, the next he was flinging radioactive feces at my head.” He sighed forlornly “This is why I’ve lost interest in having children.”

“So you mean to tell me there’s a mutated monkey on the loose in the city and it’s trying to kill you?”

“Well, he’s not pure monkey. There’s forty percent lizard DNA in him, and just a skosh of frog for extra jumping ability.”

She shook her head at him. “How have you not blown the whole world up?” she wondered.

At that moment a rhythmic drumming sounded at the door. She grabbed a baseball bat and Sheldon threw himself behind the couch and she threw herself forth at the monster 

The following ten minutes left Sheldon hyperventilating into a paper bag and ruined Penny’s freshly-washed hair, but they both lived to see another day.

And in the process, she learned that super monkey lizard hybrids really like belly rubs.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **The Big Bang Theory** , all of whom are the property of the **CBS Network**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of the Berne Convention.


End file.
